[GRIM_666]

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

[spectlze]

wah de fock (japanese engrish)

[AldNonymous]

only a dumbass can't feel his own testicles after waking up...

BTW MOVE THIS THREAD TO THE VOID!!!

[supertvanime2]

Lol

[InfestYourMind]

Originally Posted by AldNonymous

only a dumbass can't feel his own testicles after waking up...

That and I'm also confused as to why he would take the extra effort to pick up this boulder, walk to the window, and throw it out. I would just set it on the floor and get the hell out.

Besides that though, it was kinda funny

[master_tonberry]

Originally Posted by AldNonymous

BTW MOVE THIS THREAD TO THE VOID!!!

this.

[xrw175p6mq4]

Thats just silly. All the guy needed to do was whack off a few rounds and the testicles would sorta shrink up and the rope would pop off.

[LennoxKaz]

But can u whack it in .07 seconds when the rope is "close to the end" as it plummets downward? XD

Nonetheless I forgot about this one so I found it funny XD

[AldNonymous]

Originally Posted by xrw175p6mq4

Thats just silly. All the guy needed to do was whack off a few rounds and the testicles would sorta shrink up and the rope would pop off.

Originally Posted by LennoxKaz

But can u whack it in .07 seconds when the rope is "close to the end" as it plummets downward? XD

Nonetheless I forgot about this one so I found it funny XD

^This faggot don't get it...

in morning you have thing called "morning wood" therefore you need morning fap and morning rescue.... after fapping the rope will losen up (DO THIS BEFORE YOU FUCKING TROW THE BOULDER OUT FROM WINDOW) and then you don't even need to remove the boulder...

use the boulder to tie the rope then use the rope on the window so u can get out from dat old man house from the window

WIN WIN SOLUTION!!! you got the good sex with pretty girl... and you can get out from dat old man house using his own rope...

[master_tonberry]

or you could just notice the old man with his hands wrapped around your balls at 4am.

Don't know about you, but if that happened to me I'd be up and running before he had a chance to do anything.