[master_tonberry]

I moved into my current accomodation 6 months ago. I have had a few problems, but there is one that scares me the most. The cat. He hates me, and is counting down the time until he can kill me. AND HE HAS PLANS.

one month ago the cat killed a pigeon. this is normal behavior for cats, so no-one thought anything of it.

2 weeks ago he killed some rats. quite a few actually.

Last night he killed two possums. TWO POSSUMS. Now most people may not know this, but an adult possum weighs between 2-3 kilos. In other words in the last month, hes gone from killing things much, much smaller than him, to things that are over half the size of him.

That is when I realised, hes started small, and is training himself. Hes working his way up.

To humans.


Now that I have come to this realisation I decided to work out how much time I have left. Assuming that the bird weighed about 500g, and the possums weighed 2.5 kgs, that means hes increased the weight he can kill by 2.0kg in the last month.

using that, the fact that he can kill things at the weight of 2.5kg atm, and the fact that I weigh roughly 80 kg, I have worked out that he will be capable of killing me in roughly 39 months.

What should I do with the last 3 years of my life?

[Nabolzi]

If i were you, then i would consider giving Macdonalds a visit everyday. That way you'll become pretty damn big and you can live... Maybe doubling the 3 years to 6 years.

Anyway. I would build a maze that is 3 meter high and are made of concrete, so the cat couldn't jump up on the walls and walk on it. In the middle of the maze i would build a gigantic house, and after that i would consider building a space station. The cat could probably never come up in space. I would hope.

[Shadow Tearz]

lol...i realy laughed...



if u need help ask Asmi...shes the expert at cats problems...

[iguana8]

I saw the title and said WTF
I read the content and said WTF

I say kill or be killed ..this is a deathmatch!

[sozen]

Mortal kombat

[master_tonberry]

well even more disturbing, I'm assuming its a sold growth rate of 2.0kg a month.

a friend has pointed out to me that it might in fact be an exponential growth of 5/month.

at that rate he'll be able to kill:

a large dog in one month (12.5kg)
a small human in 2 months (62.5kg)
an elephant/any human he wishes in 3 months (312.5)

EDIT: He howls outside my door for food.

Death comes for me.

[WuxingBagua]

Thats one hell of a cat.. as long as you feed it, you will be ok. =)

[DawnOfSinz]

o.o i want dat cat. Is it cute?

[solfire_13]

hire another cat to assassinate that cat.....
that will save your life and you do it without dirtying your hand...
btw what your cat name, maybe it hate the name and want to kill you because of that...

[Risuzu]

Ah, a good laugh while writing a paper. How lovely.