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(#124 (permalink))
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Dura Made My Sig
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: All Hail Zero~sama!
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09-24-2009, 06:01 PM
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.
The Russians used a pencil. _______ A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”. “Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient. The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.” “That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?” The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.” Quote:
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(#127 (permalink))
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Dura Made My Sig
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: All Hail Zero~sama!
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09-24-2009, 07:11 PM
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married for 35 years.” ---------------------------- A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.” ---------------------------- Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!” The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.” |
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(#128 (permalink))
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WE HEARD YOU LIKE TITLES, SO WE PUT A TITLE IN YO TITLE SO YOU CAN POST WHILE YOU POST
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: --->
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09-24-2009, 07:13 PM
Quote:
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(#129 (permalink))
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Dura Made My Sig
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: All Hail Zero~sama!
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09-24-2009, 07:37 PM
Quote:
do u understand now?? I don't know it was on some random website Quote:
( Click to show/hide ) ^ This is why people like him get elected
( Click to show/hide )
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(#130 (permalink))
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WE HEARD YOU LIKE TITLES, SO WE PUT A TITLE IN YO TITLE SO YOU CAN POST WHILE YOU POST
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: --->
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09-24-2009, 07:39 PM
/facepalm
I know what u are talking about lets say the doctor tried to contact him 6PM to tell him that he had 24 hours left to live And the managed to contact the patient 10Am the next day Would the doctor then say u have 24hours left to live? |
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