“Hey DC,” Dao called the attention of Darkchao. “You realized what I realized?”
“That Hif is stupid to get a plank in getting us out of here? That he could have searched for a rope instead of a plank? That he managed to not fall in this quicksand, but failed to notice that Nel is just standing right there and hit him accidentally?” Darkchao tormented Dao with an array of questions, leaving him sinking deeper every question. His shoulder, neck and head are the only visible parts of his body at the moment. But, he couldn’t care less.
“Come to think of it, he is stupid,” Dao nods in satisfaction. “NO, WAIT! That’s not what I was supposed to say! Stop distracting me!!” Dao raged again.
“Maybe Dao is talking about Hif acting weird. Why? Since the one that just laughed and sank was me, not Dao,” Nel said as he pondered about something. As he was saying that, he is slowly rising up from the quicksand. His shoulders are now visible. Wait, what?!
“Why do you always say something TOTALLY out of your character, and end up having good, impossible results?!” DC’s raging a lot lately.
“Nel got it,” Dao spoke in a satisfied tone. “About the plank, I think he intentionally hit Nel. He searched for a plank so that when he hits Nel, it wouldn’t be obvious. But he made an awful mistake. It is…” Before Dao could continue what he was saying, he was interrupted by the returning Hif.
“Oh guys, sorry for returning late,” Hif said as he gasps for breath. “I *gasp* failed in searching a rope *gasp*, but I found *gasp* a halberd instead.” Hif raised a long halberd with a sharp blade in its end, scary. >_>
Darkchao thought of something and smiled. Dao noticed DC’s sarcastic smile and smiled as well, as if getting what DC thought of. Nel is smiling as well, but it’s because of the halberd. He thought of a lot of things he can do with that piece of weapon.
“Hif,” Darkchao spoke at last. “What is the name of the blue fairy in touhou?”
“TINKERBELLLLLLLL!” Nel shouted and sank back to his earlier position, with only his head and neck visible. He also received a fast-pitched lump of mud from Dao.
“Uhh, is this the right time to be asking something that?” Hif scratched his head. “Here, you’re sinking, let me help you up.” He readied the halberd.
“Answer his question first,” Dao interrupted what Hif is doing while readying another lump of mud, so that he’ll be able to stop Nel’s nonsensical blabbering.
“Uhm…” Hif held his chin with his right hand, while leaning his left hand against the halberd he was holding. “Leafa, Reimu, BB, Taiga, Shana.. SHIT THIS BIATCH!” Hif rages while his head emits smoke. Brain malfunction?
“I must praise you guys, you saw through my disguise,” Hif, or should I say Hifposter (lame), swing the halberd as if he was a kung fu specialist from the land of Shifu or whatever you call those kung fu animals. “Indeed, I am not Hif. I am Bichim! I am the most unrivalled, undetectable, impossible to catch thief who ever lived in this planet!” Hifposter resumed swinging the halberd.
“If you were the most unrivalled, undetectable, impossible to catch thief who ever lived in this planet, why were we able to catch you red-handed?” Dao smirked.
Darkchao and Nel are enjoying the sight of Hifposter swinging the halberd with only one hand.
“Well… Uhm… Lemme rephrase it,” Hifposter fixed his collar while still swinging the halberd with his left hand, like a majorette. “I am the unrivalled, undetectable, impossible to catch thief in my era!” Bich, let’s just call him that way, said with so much pride as if he already killed the three idiots.
“I hate to admit it, but you’re quite skilled,” Darkchao tried to flatter the bich… I mean Bich for something. “How were you able to know our names? Are all these ghosts this knowledgeable?”
“Well, not really,” Bich blushed. I’m enjoying saying his name. “When you dimwits were sleeping, I was standing there with you in that room. I think you douchebags didn’t notice but I was wearing the Japanese armor. My pet managed to scare off one of your comrades.” He continued swinging his halberd, but this time, he swings it in his front and back. Nel is still amazed watching him do that cripper crapper.
‘So, my guess was right, he was stupid. He could have killed us when we were asleep but he was stupid enough to actually think of it.’ Darkchao looked at Dao while thinking those words. Dao nods as if he understood what DC was thinking.
“Oh, I realized something,” Nel raised his hand. “You’re Bitchimposter!” Nel laughed his heart out. Darkchao and Dao laughed hard as well. Those three aren’t sinking. I wonder why.
“And stupid as well,” Dao added and laughed, but he sank four inches deep in the quicksand.
“W-w-w-w-w-why you?!” Bichim’s face turned red from frustration and because he was distracted, the halberd that he was swinging hit his head, beheading him. ACK! Gruesome scene! *covers eyes*
“WaAaAaAh!” Dao shouted with rising and falling intonations while holding his head with both hand and moving it up and down, like a psycho. Darkchao covered his eyes with both his hand because of the shock. Nel is just staring at the beheaded Bich.
“Oh, there’s no blood,” Nel pointed at the still standing headless body of Bich.
Darkchao and Dao took a peek at the corpse of Hif’s imposter. Dao resumed what he was doing earlier, while DC calmed down.
“I’m glad he was stupid,” DC wiped his sweat with a handkerchief that fell from his head when Nel was saying what he said earlier. “Wait, wait, wait, wait. Why am I holding a handkerchief?” DC just noticed that. Sometimes, I don’t know if he’s stupid, or just stupid.
“BOMBS AWAAAAAAAAAAAY!” An unknown life form fell from the ceiling and splashed straight to the quicksand.
The impact made when that creature hit the surface of the quicksand was too strong that the quicksand sent water pulses, like a swimming pool when a dickhead dives. The waves sent the three idiots ashore, or should I say, from where they came from before they fell from the quicksand. Damn, I wonder how twisted this writer’s mind is.
“Sh-, Fu-, WTH!” Dao was at loss of words from the current incident. “What was that?!” DC and Nel are still both astonished with what just happened, but they are amazed in different things. Guess who had the more stupid idea.
“Paah!” The humanoid that fell earlier raised his head as if the quicksand turned into a lake with a lot of polluted chemicals. It was Bluff.
“BLUFF!” Dao shouted as he was about to jump in the quicksand, but he realized that they were just trapped in that quicksand earlier and managed to get a hold of himself. “Where have you been?”
Bluff swam near the three idiots and climbed up from the quicksand, and wiped his face clean. What the hell? This story is making less and less sense.
“Oh, nice to meet you again,” Bluff stood up, removed his t-shirt and squeezed the mud out of it. “As you can see, I came from above, where there was a headless man who gave me directions then chased me after.” Bluff scratched his head while smiling bashfully as if he was talking to his crush.
“I see,” Darkchao said as he stood as well, ignoring everything Bluff said because his brain automatically tells him that what he was saying was just something stupid. “How were you separated from us?” He asked a question immediately after standing.
“Well, when you guys fell asleep, I noticed a map attached at the wall in the room we stayed. I picked it up, and when I did, an immortal foe suddenly appeared that left me no choice but to run. I was shouting my lungs out but you guys were sound asleep,” Bluff replied at Darkchao.
“Oh, so that’s what that Bich was saying,” DC understood what Bich was saying earlier.
“BTW, where’s Hif?” Bluff asked DC while he crept closer to a wall to pee.
“Could you ask that before taking a piss while people are around?” Dao raged again. “Oh, Hif was separated from us because of me,” Dao is about to cry. Nel patted Dao’s back.
“It’s alright, we’ll be able to see each other again. Just look at what happened now,” Darkchao said something positive to cheer up the group, and it seems to be effective. “First things first, how the hell did the quicksand turn into water?”
“Well, when I was falling, I accidentally hit a switch,” Bluff said as he zipped his pants. “If my memory serves me right, it was on QS before I hit it. And the lower option said SP. I dunno what it means, and I didn’t intend to touch it, but I was flailing wildly when I fell.” He resumed talking.
“So that’s how it was,” DC nods as if he was enlightened. “But it’s still illogical.” His face showed disgrace again.
“Btw, did you manage to kill the bakemono inside the room?” Bluff asked the trio. “I closed the room before I left, so that it wouldn’t be able to follow me, but I still ran away just to be sure. So, did you kill it?”
“We didn’t see any monster there,” Dao said. “It was probably ordered by its master to follow you or whatever,” he busied himself cleaning up his clothes. “Oh, and the master I’m talking about just died a couple of minutes ago.”
“Good, I thought I’ll have to see that gruesome critter again,” Bluff let out a sigh of relief.
“Oh, you mean this?” Nel showed a cockroach from his pocket. It’s pretty big compared to a normal cockroach. When Bluff saw it, he remembered the nightmare he had from his previous life, I mean encounter with it.
“SHI—“ DC, Bluff and Dao all ran away leaving Nel behind. Gays.
“Hey! Why leave me behind?!” Nel shouted. “Sorry, Mr. Cockroach, but I think I should kill you,” Nel smiled demonically and smashed the cockroach to the wall. SCARY!
“Now then,” Nel ran away from the room to follow the trio.