[Emerald Emblem]

Hey guys, Remember this? Well i got down to writing an intro to it, tell me what you reckon of how I opened it up?

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A cauldron Bubbling over an open fire, Full of naught but water and clothes being washed, an old man, rather frail looking in appearance, with silvery blue hair and eyes was sitting in a hood back chair, reading a newspaper with the headline. “Mysterious figures cause mayhem” below was the picture of an almost transparent figure bathed in flames at a fuel depo of which was little more than a pile of scrap metal engulfed in fire. An explosion rung outside making the room shake, water from the cauldron sloshed into the flames making the fire crackle. The man set down his newspaper as a faint knocking sounded outside his door; he got up and proceeded slowly to the door. When he opened the door a small figure was laying on the ground, her arms supporting her upper body, her hair was done up with a purple ribbon supporting her Crimson hair her cute face looked up at the old man, her amber eyes shimmering due to the fire that surrounded the house, a small brick dwelling in the mountains outside a huge city where explosions were going off. One of her eyes began to glow a faint blue and soon after so did one of his, his eyes widened as the girl collapsed, revealing a huge gash across her back which was spilling blood all over the pavement.
“S-s-save...Me...” The girl gasped as she lost consciousness.

*Anime OP plays*
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What do we think?

[zeramoth]

I wanna hear the OP before I say anything
jk
I liked it, it was well written
Not very original tho, nonetheless good job

[RinVonStark]

Definetly animu style. Fairly well written but make use of paragraphs next time. Avoid words like cute; say something like "delicate". Also, instead of being vague when saying the eyes started glowing, say which part. Shows you got vocabulary and gives a better view to the whole event.
Apart from that, seemed interesting but I was expecting her to go haywire on the the old man. That would be a bit more original. How bout you elaborate a bit more? Like a 1 episode OVA? Would be interested.

[TTally]

i tend to agree with the other two but one thing I would do is-

stop reusing words, "knock on the door he opened the door" stuff. I would get it if it was "there was a knock on the door and he answered it"