[PickledOnion]

Tbh, I've not indulged myself in poetry for about 8 years now but I'm thinking of writing again. c:

To start this thread off, here's a poem I made years ago. It's one of the few poems I got left. :/ (I uploaded it on the internet.)

From Me to You

I am not perfect.
No, not even close.

I cannot write a winning piece,
nor a novel nor a story.
My hands shake without cease
of attempts at art so weary.
This mouth often speaks of nothing
but idle words and praises,
that could be of haste and sting.
My calloused feet bring me to places
as appalling as the dumps.
These eyes are no innocent
for they see things that slump.
My voice echoes in dissent,
and might never be of harmony.
My body must be rigid by fatigue,
by death, by silence, by agony.

I am not perfect.
No, not even close.

I cannot speak many languages,
Nor write in a different way.
Neither can I adequately gauge
a statement in a day.
My housekeeping skills are inferior
compared to those of other girls.
I cannot easily read a score,
nor carry a string of pearls.
I am not the prettiest of all,
nor the smartest nor the kindest.
Myself I can't compare to a doll;
I can't be the same as the rest.

I am not perfect.
No, not even close.

My heart is not yours for keeping,
You may not take or own it;
It is by no means a thing,
And certainly for a king it doesn't fit.
My eyes are not yours to blind,
There are still things left to see.
Nor are my feet yours to bind,
They're versatile and free.
My mouth could not be hushed,
It speaks of its own accord.
My hands could not be rushed,
They sway and they do hoard.
My body breaks away from chains,
do not attempt to restrain.

I am not perfect.
No, not even close.

But for you I could soar and fly,
Though my back is a barren of wings.
I'll sing for you and cry,
until your winter turns to spring.
Come out the stars, I'll dream with you;
Pour down the rain, I'll be your roof;
From the dark alleys, I'll walk you through;
Tell me your life, I'll need no proof.
For you, alone, is enough
to keep me strong and smile.
With you I could still laugh
and get by for at least a while.
You are the wind which keeps me going,
but not the earth which I walk on.

I am not perfect.
No, not even close.

But for you I could try,
and that is enough.

[Sid Greene]

It’s a very commendable poem indeed and a very long one. But for me, after reading your poem, it is not enough because I want to read more of your works. Good job and please post more. Thank you for sharing your poem.

If you won’t mind I have a few suggestions that you might consider. But of course these suggestions are under your approval and scrutiny. Here they are:

- I cannot write a winning piece,
Neither a novel nor a story.

- Out of haste that often sting.
My calloused feet bring me to places

- I am not the prettiest of all,
Neither the smartest nor the kindest.


- Bring out the stars, I'll dream with you;
Pour down the rain, I'll be your roof; (I like these lines)


- For you, alone, is enough
to keep me strong and content.
With you I could still laugh
and get by for at least a moment.
You are the wind which keeps me going,
but not the earth which I walk upon.

[PickledOnion]

Thanks for the CnC^^
I made this poem when I was kid so I know there are some errors and definitely room for improvement. (Though this is my latest literary work. Haha.)

I'll take your suggestions into consideration and amend my poem after college. c:

The thought of writing now makes me so nervous because it's been agggeesss and I feel like I can't even do it anymore but I'll try my best and post one later.

[aimiko63]

whoa that poem's great! it seems like a song for me because of this:
I am not perfect.
No, not even close.

here's my favorite part:

Originally Posted by PickledOnion

But for you I could soar and fly,
Though my back is a barren of wings.
I'll sing for you and cry,
until your winter turns to spring.
Come out the stars, I'll dream with you;
Pour down the rain, I'll be your roof;
From the dark alleys, I'll walk you through;
Tell me your life, I'll need no proof.
For you, alone, is enough
to keep me strong and smile.
With you I could still laugh
and get by for at least a while.
You are the wind which keeps me going,
but not the earth which I walk on.

[poeticas]

Po and Poems how much more cuter can you get ? :O don't tell me you wear glasses to ? if you do i will fall for you ? :O Hmm and nice nice poem

[PickledOnion]

Thank you! ^///^

@Poeticas: I do wear glasses lol XD

[poeticas]

Originally Posted by PickledOnion

Thank you! ^///^

@Poeticas: I do wear glasses lol XD

*shocked*

[beyond]

Interesting, everyone usually writes about giving themselves to others but urs is different. My favorite part is

My heart is not yours for keeping,
You may not take or own it;
It is by no means a thing,
And certainly for a king it doesn't fit.
My eyes are not yours to blind,
There are still things left to see.
Nor are my feet yours to bind,
They're versatile and free.
My mouth could not be hushed,
It speaks of its own accord.
My hands could not be rushed,
They sway and they do hoard.
My body breaks away from chains,
do not attempt to restrain.

[PickledOnion]

Originally Posted by beyond

Interesting, everyone usually writes about giving themselves to others but urs is different. My favorite part is

Thank you. ^__^
I try to write whatever I feel at the moment of writing.

I scribbled something a while ago. Here goes nothing.


A Kaleidoscope


To the one that holds the string:


I am drifting on red tainted ice, melting along, freezing inside and gradually approaching equilibrium. Controlling marionettes with broken strings and directing flashbacks in a creaky chair. Painting white with black and painting black with white. I am writing notes with a pen out of ink.

Tonight, I will dissipate into dust and get blown by the wind. Tomorrow, I will caress your cheeks as you open your window. As you inhale, I will fill you up and help you live.

And I will memorise every part of you and the sensations until you breathe out and scatter me into nothingness.

I hope this note finds its way to your heart:
A heart of gold.
A heart of steel.


From:
The stardust that has fulfilled its role





EDIT: I didn't think much about this nor did I edit anything and I plan on keeping it that way so pardon me if it's umm too raw or too blunt. @_@

[Asmi]

interesting.