[HeiBK201]

The Void

We’re left with nothing but the wreckage of the day
we tear down the walls and we no longer can pray
all the words we wrote are in bottles, in that bay
your eyes can't see me now, I can no longer stay

The whole story is void and I’m longing for a place
To burst out my colourless flames; and embrace
The shadow whom in his eyes I saw my face
Such a foolish man; I am! Such a helpless case!

I heard them say I am a puzzle can’t be solved
You heard them too or you may have been told
Words of betrayal facing the eternity – behold!
The majestic void of our life; the eternal cold

Ink Mood March 2011

[Sid Greene]

Originally Posted by HeiBK201

The Void

We’re left with nothing but the wreckage of the day
we tear down the walls and we no longer can pray
all the words we wrote are in bottles, in that bay
your eyes can't see me now, I can no longer stay

The whole story is void and I’m longing for a place
To burst out my colourless flames; and embrace
The shadow whom in his eyes I saw my face
Such a foolish man; I am! Such a helpless case!

I heard them say I am a puzzle can’t be solved
You heard them too or you may have been told
Words of betrayal facing the eternity – behold!
The majestic void of our life; the eternal cold

Ink Mood March 2011

I like the last part especially which makes me shiver.

Thank you for sharing your poem.

[Elusive Mind]

This is cool! Does it reflect the void on the forums? I say this because I've noticed that this poem has mentioned the word, words, alot and that it seems to involve a sense of, go wild.

[HeiBK201]

Originally Posted by Elusive Mind

This is cool! Does it reflect the void on the forums? I say this because I've noticed that this poem has mentioned the word, words, alot and that it seems to involve a sense of, go wild.

it has nothing to do with the forums!!! lool

well if you ask me about it now i won't be able to explain!! because i just write what i feel and what comes to mind; i don't actually think twice in choosing words.
if the poem reached somebody else and he/she felt it by his/her own way then that's what i care about and what makes me glad.

[Elusive Mind]

Originally Posted by HeiBK201

it has nothing to do with the forums!!! lool

well if you ask me about it now i won't be able to explain!! because i just write what i feel and what comes to mind; i don't actually think twice in choosing words.
if the poem reached somebody else and he/she felt it by his/her own way then that's what i care about and what makes me glad.

I like that kind of thinking . keep that train of thought and I'm sure you will make many great poems .

[aimiko63]

^wow how nice keep it up.. i feel like there's some kind of mystery behind that "The whole story is void" line.. oh the whole poem actually..

[Asmi]

A really good poem. Keep up the good work.