[dacasa]

Well since everybody started posting poems, i might join in as well. I erased the chorus twice, because reading it once or so is enough.
This is actually supposed to be a love-song, so imagine a nice tune with it okay~?


The streets were filled with tears,
As the waves took my hope down in the stream
The walls around my hearth were destroyed
And nothing was like it seemed.

At first you filled my hearth with love,
Now you fill my eyes with tears,
God please send me help from above
Because my angel just confirmed all my fears.

Well my hope will rise, and my tears will dry
The walls stand again, stronger and high,
But they will be surrounding nothing no more,
Because my heart is hollow and sore
But I will make it,
Make it without you

I'll cross countless seas to get back to you,
Hold my breath till your kiss opens my lips
Drowning until you do,
But I demand myself to burn my ships

Now the sky tears up above me, as it never did before
As the rain joined my tears in a dance down my face,
I swim my way back to surface, and I wash ashore,
It's time to start over, it's time to erase.

While waves crush down on my heart,
My heart can't resist, it'll fall apart,
the remains stream out with the sea,
just hoping they'll ever come back to me,

Well my hope will rise, and my tears will dry
The walls stand again, stronger and high,
Is this all a lie?...
But they will be surrounding nothing anymore,
Because my heart is hollow and sore
But I will make it without you
Not that i want to...


please come back if you can,
fill my heart with love again

[Sid Greene]

Originally Posted by dacasa

Well since everybody started posting poems, i might join in as well. I erased the chorus twice, because reading it once or so is enough.
This is actually supposed to be a love-song, so imagine a nice tune with it okay~?


The streets were filled with tears,
As the waves took my hope down in the stream
The walls around my hearth were destroyed
And nothing was like it seemed.

At first you filled my hearth with love,
Now you fill my eyes with tears,
God please send me help from above
Because my angel just confirmed all my fears.

Well my hope will rise, and my tears will dry
The walls stand again, stronger and high,
But they will be surrounding nothing no more,
Because my heart is hollow and sore
But I will make it,
Make it without you

I'll cross countless seas to get back to you,
Hold my breath till your kiss opens my lips
Drowning until you do,
But I demand myself to burn my ships

Now the sky tears up above me, as it never did before
As the rain joined my tears in a dance down my face,
I swim my way back to surface, and I wash ashore,
It's time to start over, it's time to erase.

While waves crush down on my heart,
My heart can't resist, it'll fall apart,
the remains stream out with the sea,
just hoping they'll ever come back to me,

Well my hope will rise, and my tears will dry
The walls stand again, stronger and high,
Is this all a lie?...
But they will be surrounding nothing anymore,
Because my heart is hollow and sore
But I will make it without you
Not that i want to...


please come back if you can,
fill my heart with love again

This is raw but promising as a poem. You have talent that only needs proper pruning. But this suggestion is only for your acceptance and I will not force it upon you if you think that it will ruin your work. I hope that I can help you and that is all I want.

The streets were filled with waves of tears
and swept my hope down in its stream
The walls around my hearth were destroyed
and nothing ever was like it seemed.

At first you filled my hearth with love,
but now you fill my eyes with tears,
God please send me help from above
because my angel just confirmed all my fears.

Well my hope will rise, and my tears will dry
The walls built again, stronger and high,
But they will be surrounding nothing anymore,
Because my heart is now hollow and sore
But I will make it, try to make it
Make it without you

I'll cross countless seas to get back to you,
Hold my breath till your kiss opens my lips
reach the deepest abyss just to find you
and yet I demand myself to burn my ships

Now the sky weeps up above me, as it never did before
As the rain joined my tears in a dance down my face,
I swim my way back to the surface, and was wash ashore,
It's time to start over, it's time to erase the past.

While waves crush down on my heart,
My heart can resist it until it falls apart,
with the remains streaming out into the sea,
I’ll just hope that everything will come back to me,

Well my hope will rise, and my tears will dry
The walls built again, stronger and high,
Is this all a lie?...
for it will be surrounding nothing anymore,
Because my heart is hollow and sore
But I will make it without you
Not that i really want to...


I want to read more of your unique work and thank you for sharing.

[dacasa]

Thanks for your suggestions. Some of them are better than my own words, however some of them don't fit in the rythm i had in my mind. I'll try and adjsut some parts, but I'm kinda out of poems atm, I write stuff like this if I really feel inspired, and lately I've been to busy n-n
Thanks for reading. I'll be sure to post something again soon!

[aimiko63]

wow.. your poem's quite emotional for me. i love it..

please come back if you can,
fill my heart with love again
^ i think this one really suits your poem's ending. nice work