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  (#21 (permalink)) Old
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Default 01-15-2011, 12:23 PM

niceee poem there gee~!


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Thumbs up 01-15-2011, 01:09 PM

I will pluck their eyes and gather them like money
And suck their brains and harvest them like honey


^ it's CREEEEEEPY!! but i like the poem hehe..


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Default 01-15-2011, 01:51 PM

its realy good...

i love this part...

I will pluck their eyes and gather them like money
And suck their brains and harvest them like honey


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Default 01-15-2011, 01:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by shadow.tearz View Post
its realy good...

i love this part...

I will pluck their eyes and gather them like money
And suck their brains and harvest them like honey
^i agree!!


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  (#25 (permalink)) Old
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Thumbs up Best Part - 01-15-2011, 06:49 PM

pauuliee it is not a satanic poem but surely describes the dark one. Thank you shadow.tearz and aimiko63 for pointing out your favorite part. It is creepy but the best part indeed.
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Default 01-16-2011, 03:17 PM

Good job. :]


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Default 01-16-2011, 07:17 PM

Thanks xXAsmiXx for your remarks!
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Post The Parade of Seven (Poem) - 01-16-2011, 07:58 PM

Inspired by the works of Neil Gaimanís ďThe SandmanĒ

The Parade of Seven

I welcome you to the parade of the eternal
Seven beings that is both fraternal and maternal
In this land that is equally delightful and infernal
In a story that is both a magnum opus and communal

Let us begin with whom we are deeply ill-fated
Whose irresistible kiss we are absolutely infatuated
In the edge of insanity she is always haplessly situated
For Desire is a name not so simple but very complicated

With a sniff of your calming scent you drive us to sleep
Yet your stench poisons our mind so utterly deep
For you are Dream that makes us laugh and weep
Smoking away our burned realities that is ours to keep

Fear is a black raven that spreads your ominous message
For Destruction whose empty soul is relentless and savage
A monster in an armor made of the rotting meat of carnage
Drinking the blood of innocence without prejudice of cause and age

Silence whispers a lullaby into the dirt which I dread and disown
Because its seeds are not wanted and should be absolutely thrown
For Death is a flower that blossoms swiftly were ever naively sown
Scattering like a lethal virus that eats our very own flesh and bone

Futility is a storm that floods overgrown and unkempt mind
While Despair is a pretentious lifeboat which is always close behind
It is a million worms of memories fit together and intertwined
Just like a crushed human brain that is scarred and undermined

Let us not dwell in the vast islands of absence and longing
For Delirium is a shadow that roams and dwells in its belonging
Creeping in our consciousness like the mist coming and going
Showing all forms of visions and spirits not of our own doing

Finally, let us not depend upon our fortune on Destiny our brother
For he does not recognize our dreams and sees it as a bother
But only accepts birth and death as our true father and mother
And stir our hearts and stomachs from one place and into another


18010140140905

I hope that you would like it too.
But if not, I will send to you all seven beings!
Hehehe. I'm only joking!
Please post your remarks and suggestions. Thank you as always.
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Default 01-17-2011, 12:30 AM

hmmm, maybe I'm bad at this, but I couldn't really figure out all of the seven beings .

It was awesome, I liked it alot, I hope I can reach your level and surpass you if I'm lucky


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Default 01-17-2011, 03:40 AM

Seventh Being would be the first paragraph?
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Talking Thanks! - 01-17-2011, 08:36 AM

Thank you spectre456 and Asobitai! The seven beings are Desire, Dreams, Death, Destruction, Despair, Delirium and Destiny. They are the eternal beings in the works of Neil Gaiman's "The Sandman". Asobitai if you say "the seventh being", then you are referring to only one being and not seven beings. But thank you for your remark and I really appreciate it.
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  (#32 (permalink)) Old
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Default 01-17-2011, 12:02 PM

tis awesome work ! need to change my ways too :O


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Post A Loversí Tears (Love Poem) - 01-17-2011, 12:43 PM

Here's a change in theme and phase that I hope you wouldn't mind .


A Loversí Tears (Love Poem)


The tears of a woman are unique and like no other
It drops like spring rains so subtle unlike any weather
Yet slow like the summer days we spent often together

It is an autumn leaf falling so naked and yet bold
It is a snowflake of winter that is bitter and cold
Completing our four seasons so empty as foretold

Why do my eyes weep with your hate and absence?
Why my heart pauses when starved of your presence?
Why my thought lingers when deprived of your essence?

The questions I ask myself are firmly etched in my mind
But my words was the sword that struck so strong and unkind
Opening a wound so deep with regrets that I canít leave behind

This is a battlefield that my hapless heart canít fully bear
For my armour is weak against the silence that you wear
My shield is broken in half to your eyes that doesnít care

The tears of a man is very unexpected and deeply tragic indeed
It flows like a stream in spring whose sufferings was abruptly freed
Yet warm as your summer smiles which my heart desperately need

It is shaped like an autumn tree brittle and dry with sorrow
It is fierce as a winter storm blowing like there is no tomorrow
A season of chaos whose grave is hallow and yet shallow

I will renew my oath to you and then I will be truly yours
I will be the only ship that will reach your distant shores
I will be dependable like the sail of a ship and of its oars

For it is in our passion and tears as lovers that makes our history
That shows our past memories full of romance and some mystery
And it will be our reason to compose more of our endearing love story



18090140140905


Thank you and I will appreciate any remarks and suggestions that anybody would be willing to share.
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  (#34 (permalink)) Old
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Default 01-17-2011, 04:22 PM

Really good,

not sure if

"My shield is broken in half to your eyes that doesn’t care"

should be

"My shield is broken in half to your eyes that don't care"

to be honest with my english level im probably wrong, like it allot though.


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  (#35 (permalink)) Old
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Default 01-17-2011, 05:57 PM

i love ur work man..keep it up..
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Post Thank you! - 01-17-2011, 06:14 PM

Thank you sl4y3r & samohtdarklight for your kind remarks . I think what you said about the line...
"My shield is broken in half to your eyes that doesnít care"

should be

"My shield is broken in half to your eyes that don't care"
both of them will work for this poem and as far as I know both are also correct. The word "doesn't" is old school and I think the common word now is, you're right, "don't". I really appreciate what you just did samohtdarklight and it means a lot to me!

I hope to see both of your remarks in my other works as well and hope that both of you would like them too.
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  (#37 (permalink)) Old
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Default 01-17-2011, 07:25 PM

Why do you call it "A Lovers’ Tears" and not "A Lover's Tears". Is there any reason in particular?

Last edited by blueskyy; 01-17-2011 at 07:31 PM..
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Default 01-17-2011, 07:30 PM

tihs poem is realy good this reminds me of someone lese


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  (#39 (permalink)) Old
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Thumbs up Thank you! - 01-17-2011, 08:57 PM

Thank you blueskyy and dennisgon for you kind remarks! dennisgon I did titled it " A Lover's Tears" at first but decided to make it "A Lovers' Tears" because it is applicable to all the lovers in general. I hope it made sense to you and I appreciate your honesty with regards to the title of the poem.
I am looking forward to both of your remarks in my other works as well and hope that you would find the time to read them. Your honesty is well appreciated!
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  (#40 (permalink)) Old
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Default 01-21-2011, 06:15 PM

WOW!! I Love it..


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