[Elusive Mind]

Originally Posted by Shimus_Darkraven

The Hollow Man

We were so happy you and I
Together we had seen it all;
From winter to the summer sky
Who would think we would ever fall?

But fall we did, as we fell so fast
The light had seemed to fade;
As we ended locked up at last
Unable to hold each other and afraid.

The next I knew you were gone
Slaughtered like some animal;
They took from me own dawn
Slipping under so dark and dismal.

I cursed my fate day in and out
Feeling my rage boil over inside;
I silently screamed with a shout
As my soul burned out and fried.

My views are twisted and now corrupt
As I seethe and roil in despair;
I wait patiently to revolt and erupt
I will get my revenge for this I swear.

The impact upon this poem is immense. The last line of this poem is just coated with so much fury that even I'm getting a little upset. Makes me kinda want to help you distribute that revenge.
Also the title fits so well with the poem and it's meaning. It reflects the idea that love makes the body. without that love, your just a "hollow body". Yet even with the love lost, something must take its place. And the only force that's left to replace it is hate.
I think the way you presented that was very skillful and it really helped pass the mood of the piece through each typed word.
You did a very nice job in constructing this poem. Keep up the good work.