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08-20-2009, 03:42 PM
Definetly animu style. Fairly well written but make use of paragraphs next time. Avoid words like cute; say something like "delicate". Also, instead of being vague when saying the eyes started glowing, say which part. Shows you got vocabulary and gives a better view to the whole event.
Apart from that, seemed interesting but I was expecting her to go haywire on the the old man. That would be a bit more original. How bout you elaborate a bit more? Like a 1 episode OVA? Would be interested.
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